Wherever you are in the planning process for your LGBTQ+ wedding, we’ve got the top 10 tips that will help you focus on what matters most and how you can get around some of the unique situations that you may confront as an LGBTQ+ couple. Happy planning!
Accept that you may experience rejection
The unfortunate fact is that, although LGBTQ+ rights have come a long way in recent years, partly due to the landmark Supreme Court ruling of 2015 that the Constitution guarantees a right to same-sex marriage, prejudice towards the community still undoubtedly exists. You will have to be prepared for the reaction of some vendors when you make your plans known – from surprise to outright rejection. However, you should…
…Know how to move on graciously
The important thing is to try not to take any negative reaction to heart and move on with grace. It can be difficult, and is certainly not fair treatment, but if a supplier seems uncomfortable or refuses to offer their services, then simply thank them for their time and clearly express that you’ll be taking your business elsewhere. Although it can inevitably be stressful for any couple, wedding planning should also be an enjoyable time that brings friends, families, and you and your partner together in joy and anticipation – don’t let a few negative reactions ruin that, and simply move on to the next. At ZBest, we take pride in providing seamless, reliable wedding transportation for any couple, without judgement. With us, you can take comfort in the fact that we will go above and beyond to help make your big day truly special.
Talk to friends and relatives who might not be so open-minded
There is always the fear of sending out impeccably designed, personalized wedding invitations only to receive a negative response from relatives or friends who may not be so open to the idea of an LGBTQ+ wedding. Instead of sending out an invitation and crossing your fingers, try discussing your plans with anyone you think may be challenged by the idea first. You might be surprised at their reaction when you explain your decision to them personally, giving them the opportunity to ask any questions that they might find awkward to bring up otherwise. If their reaction is still unenthusiastic, your decision is made, and there’s no need to waste time, effort, and money on an invitation they will certainly reject.
Seek out expert advice
There is plenty of advice specially tailored towards LGBTQ+ couples out there, so don’t panic that you might have missed something that traditional heterosexual cisgender wedding planning tools won’t cover. Most of the wedding planning process will be pretty similar, but there are some specifics that you might want to think about in relation to your LGBTQ+ partnership – sites like equallywed.com and LGBTweddings.com are great places to start and provide tons of tips and advice around all aspects of the wedding planning process.
Look for listings
Search out lists of vendors that have been specially vetted as LGBTQ+-friendly – that way you already know you’ll receive a positive reaction when you make enquiries and won’t be left wondering why you haven’t received a call-back or feeling upset by any insensitive comments. If you can’t find specific listings, look at the websites and social media feeds of your preferred vendors and get a sense for what kinds of weddings they have covered in the past. Often, you can quickly see if they are likely to be open to your situation or not.
Choose your officiant carefully
Make sure you choose an officiant who is open and experienced in performing LGBTQ+ weddings – that way you’ll be sure to get a ceremony that truly reflects your love and commitment. If you are religious, there is a chance that you may still be able to get a priest to marry you, depending on how progressive the church in question is – so be sure to check before you write it off as an option.
Embrace the chance to do things ‘differently’
An LGBTQ+ wedding allows you to shake-up the rules and do something a little ‘out of the box’, if the feeling takes you – from non-traditional ceremonies, to extravagant celebrations, the choice is really yours to make! But don’t forget you can always do the classic ‘white wedding’ too, if that’s more your style.
Shake up your ‘wedding party’
Why limit yourself to a best man or bridesmaids? Switch it up and have a ‘best woman’ or ‘man of honor’, or maybe simply a group of close friends who walk with you down the aisle and say a few words at your reception. Of course, you don’t even need a ‘wedding party’ at all, if that’s not your thing – the choice is all yours! Just remember that you will need two witnesses to make your marriage legal.
What to wear
It’s your day, so wear what you feel most comfortable in! Some same-sex couples feel conflicted about the idea that there should be a ‘bride’ and a ‘groom’ outfit – but it’s totally up to you! Two dresses, two suits, one of each, or maybe you just want to get married in your casual weekend clothes – what matters is the commitment you are making to each other, regardless of what you wear.
Ultimately – don’t let fear stop you from pursuing what you really want
Whatever you do, make sure your wedding is exactly the kind of event you want it to be. It may require more persistence (and sometimes, unfortunately, a thicker skin) but don’t let the fear of negative reactions stop you from getting what you really want for your special day. You and your partner are there to love and support each other through all the stresses, strains, and wild excitement of wedding planning – so make sure you enjoy every minute!